Droplets

A jug fills drop by drop, according to Buddha, and that’s an ideal way to describe the current state of play with my novel: comprised of many (many) drops, going through a purification of sorts, before it is ready to be poured (into the minds of beta readers? OK... I’ll stop with the jug analogy).

The month of January was bittersweet, as far as writing goes. Refreshed from my Nano-break, I thrust myself into revising “Brothers”: a novel born in the Gallery of Modern Art one Sunday afternoon in September 2012, which flourished into a 39k first draft. I imagined it would be the most pleasurable (of all my First Drafts) to shape into a Proper Book first.

Naturally, the story then took a completely different direction, and what I have in my laptop now looks like a very distant cousin of the first draft. I’m very pleased with the new developments, but I can’t help mourning that poor first attempt, with its cardboard plotline and faceless characters. I really thought it was amazing at the time, which alarms me somewhat. Nevertheless, I’m moving forward with it nicely. I'm pleased to report Draft Three has commenced.

Would any other writers care to join me in an admission? Who else gets “author crushes”? Gone are the days where my reading experience is confined to within the covers of a book. Now I absorb everything about an author. I scour their websites. I watch interviews of them on YouTube. I download podcasts in which they appear. January's crushes were JK Rowling and Margaret Atwood.

As previously admitted, I’ve never read a Harry Potter novel. Many see this as a slight on my character, but I was thrilled to be in a rare, impartial position (notwithstanding my adoration after her Harvard Commencement Address) to read The Casual Vacancy . And I loved it. Just… bloody adored it. I had a good cry at the end, for the sake of humanity and its many perils explored in the book. Not long after finishing, I was kneeling on the kitchen floor, surrounded by clothes being sorted into dark & whites for the machine. I was snivelling away when my other half entered the room, took one look at me, and said “Sake… it’s only a book!”

As any writer/reader can imagine, this only further increased my despair.

I picked up Margaret Atwood’s The Year of The Flood from the library and, what with it being “speculative fiction”, I didn’t think I’d be particularly enamoured with it. But I’d heard her writing style was beautiful and  I have to say... it really is. I found myself writing down passages that struck me, to join the ever growing passages from novels that inspire me to learn good writing craft. Do you do that too? Care to share them?

Although my ultimate goal is to write novels, I have been seduced by the lure of the Short Story. Virginia Woolf once described her daily diaries as containing “diamonds of the dust heap” and I believe writing short stories would be a perfect opportunity to sift through my own (ever increasing) dust heap in the form of Morning Pages and copious note-taking. There must be diamonds in there somewhere. I have more ideas written down now than I’ll ever be able to work with, so it gives them a fresh opportunity to thrive.

Anyway, I'll stop waffling for now. I do hope everyone is getting on well with their writing. I'll leave you with a photo I took the other day, which might be a useful writing prompt:

 

 

Take care,

Catherine x

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Droplets

It's a journal, dahling, not a diary...

One of the most common pieces of writing advice I've read, is this:


Keep a Journal.

For most writers, it's a great way to expel their thoughts and ideas onto paper.


That's why I do it... mostly. Other times, I just question my mental health over and over again, and whine about why my novels aren't writing all by themselves.


If you'd also care to question my mental well-being, here's some entries from 2010/2011 that I felt acceptable to share with you all.




*WARNING: POTTY MOUTH AHEAD.* *Sorry Mum.*

20th August, 2010: I believe writing a truly good book takes craft and skill, and I'm going to learn it if it kills me (although I'm sure it wont).

27th July, 2011: I just wrote the penultimate entry into my wee purple diary, and totally squashed up the last page and rushed the ending, to save enough space for when I go back to it, in whatever time it takes to make a success of myself. I feel quite sad. It's like finding out your best friend is moving to Australia the next day. We didn't get a proper goodbye.

31st July 2011: Please note it is 6:19 on a Sunday morning and I am awake, writing this entry. Please let this be an encouraging sign that I'm ready to write like a motherfucker.

20th August, 2011: (On Nancy Mitford's “The Pursuit of Love”) I thought Uncle Matthew was a big arsehole: violent, aggressive and vile. But the teeniest glimpse of him softening (the small edge of the wedge) made me instantly adore him. But that says more about me than the book. Give me an inch and I will call you master, unfortunately.

15th September, 2011: Colin explained Scottish Football to me this morning, and I despair. It's like the more I learn about something, be it the government, the country's history, football associations and politics, the more I wish I didn't know. Does the privilege of knowledge come at a cost of personal contentment? I envy the blissfully ignorant.

And lastly, on what I learned from NaNoWriMo, written on the day I completed it:

I've learned:

I can't sit and do 1667 words a day. I work better when I do clumps of 5-6k words every 2,3 or even 4 days.

I can try and plot and outline and create spreadsheets all I want, but at the end of the day, I'll probably not use it. From now on, I'll just be writing the stories, then focusing on the craft later.

Sometimes, I write until I get to a certain restless point. It comes to me through no choice of my own and trying to battle through it is about as effective as a chocolate teapot. My little mind is stubborn. If I try to force myself to think about something, it will rebel. So, I go for a bath. I watch a cookery program. I do the dishes. I always end up drifting off into the land of my novel, thinking about my characters and writing the story in my head. THEN I'll go back to writing it.

I've learned that I have to treat my writing like a good marinade or stew. Sometimes, it's better to be left to develop. Perhaps for a few hours, even better overnight. Too long, though, and it'll go off.

I've learned that I'm at my happiest when writing, or thinking about writing, or watching my characters coming to life. Even the nasty, vindictive ones. I love them too.

I've also come to suspect that I may be quite mentally ill. I mean, who can come up with some of the sinister shite I have in my novel? Troubled soul? Or too many Virginia Andrews books in my lifetime? I hasten to prefer the latter.

Honestly, I have about three years worth of this (and counting). Anyone want to buy it as a book? No? OK then...

Do you write a journal? Do you think it helps you with your writing?

Today's J music video, is Jefferson Airplane, with Embryonic Journey. It reminds me of my twinny :)

 

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It's a journal, dahling, not a diary...

Expectation is the root of all EVIL

In September last year, I listed my expectations for my first novel; one that I was yet to begin writing:


My extensive research suggests the average book is between 90,000 and 120,000 words, so here is my own little plan:

• Aim for 70,000 words for my first draft
• Take a few weeks off, and prepare for Xmas break. 
• 2 tear-inducingly blissful weeks off work, to be spent working on 2nd draft. 

I hope to bulk up to 90k + words during this time.  Once I've got that out of the way, I'll look into critiquing and getting a few objective readers arranged, but first things first... the planning stage!

I know what you're thinking... it's time for another Face Palm.

I'm going to dismiss my naivety as over-eagerness to thrust myself into Authordom. I'm not knocking it, but this is what happens when you are seduced by NaNoWriMo: you're surrounded by hundreds of thousands of writers who don't bat an eyelid at pouring out a 50k novel in 30 days.

What with my obsession for goal-setting, my attempt to run before I could walk was inevitable.

Thus, today's post is dedicated to E for Expectations, and what my new expectations are.

I did get to the 50k mark by the end of November, but I'll tell you something: about 5% has made it into my current WIP. 

Currently, I only have one expectation:

Put the hours into my novel, and don't even look at that word count. It'll be done when it's done, 'orite?

Please don't mistake this new attitude for apathy. I'm very optimistic about this outlook! Coupled with my enforced-discipline-writing-schedule, I'm positive I'll get to where I want to be, in a time-frame I'm happy with.

And I'll be sure to keep you updated along the way of course!

Please share your expectations with me: how long do you normally take to write your novels? Have you set yourself goals for the week/month/year?

 Today's E music video is Enter Shikari's "Arguing With Thermometers". Ugh... TUNE! Enjoy :)

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Expectation is the root of all EVIL

Wake Up Little Snoozy...

Is it appropriate to say Happy New Year, being the 14th January and all?


Nevertheless, I bid you a tremendous 2012.


It's been a while since my last post. I'd love to tell you I've been horrendously busy, writing my novel with ferocious voracity.


I haven't. My muse has had a terrible case of the Black Dog. If it had a chaise longue, it'd have been sprawled across it, damp cloth on the forehead, fainting occasionally.


The excitement from my NaNo days (which seem so long ago now) had all but disappeared. It abandoned me, leaving me with a 50k story that I had no idea how to progress.


Guiltily, I started writing other story ideas, and the creative buzz returned somewhat. But, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't care for failure. That's what The Caretaker was starting to look like, and it pained me.


Was I just procrastinating? Surely procrastination is what happens when you put off something you don't want to do? I want to finish the novel, goddamnit, what the F is going on?


I consoled myself, reading blogs from experienced authors, writing about how your first novel is never publishable anyway, and how people really don't find their true novel until they've written five or six of them. I even tried to write a couple of blog posts, about how The Caretaker wasn't The One for me. How shameful.


It still didn't change how I felt about The Caretaker.


I'm pleased to report, stubbornness has prevailed.


The smelling salts arrived in the form of this Creative Writing Masterclass video. Not to impugn videos, but that's how bad it was getting. I couldn't bring myself to write, so I was watching videos on writing. If Charles Dickens could have witnessed this spectacle, he'd have poked me in the eye with his feather-tipped pen.


This video ignited the epiphany within me. It made me realise which character I wanted to be my "hero". Something every writer probably has pegged from the first page, but I'd become so close to all the characters, I didn't want just one hero.


That doesn't make for a good story though, does it?


Here's my very first synopsis of The Caretaker, before I started writing it:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, his previously idyllic world collapses around him.
He seeks forgiveness from his devastated wife, Wendy, who agrees to give up her teaching job to take care of him. Can she bring herself to trust him again? Or does she succumb to the advances of the school's Caretaker; so desperate to be someone's first choice again?
The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Experience the turmoil of both sides of the coin, in this tragic tale about the fragility of trust.

Here's the synopsis of The Caretaker, written 30 days and 50k words later:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, the lives of those around him change forever.

His devastated wife, Wendy, agrees to stand by and take care of him. But she cannot forgive the betrayal and, when advances from the local school's Caretaker distracts her, Harry's well-being is severely at risk.

The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Not only did Tina lose her sister in the accident, she lost the love of her life, Mick, Harry's brother. Mick can't see any future with the sister of the girl who tore his brother's life apart. When she finds out she's pregnant with Mick's baby, she hides it from him, convinced he'll tell her to get rid of it. As the baby grows inside her, so does her obsession with Mick.

Helen is out for revenge, after losing her favourite daughter in the accident. Hell bent on
vengeance, she blames Wendy's inability to maintain a good marriage; her inability to keep her man from leading astray. When her other daughter, Tina, falls pregnant, it fits into her plan perfectly. A stout Catholic, she believes it is her religious duty to make everyone pay for their sins.

As you can see, the story is riddled with other stories. They do all tie in together, but there was something missing from it.


My hero, Harry.


Yes, he is a cheating scumbag. I have no more time for love rats than you do. But my aim is to make this book his journey. I aim to weave his tale throughout the rest of the chaos and hopefully come out on top.


Although... you never know... he might just be too despicable to save. There may be more bad karma coming his way...


You'll have to read the book to find out! :D

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Wake Up Little Snoozy...

The Importance of Reading. In Writing.

No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.
Confucius

When studying music at college, I was taught how to use one of those big mixing desks you find in recording studios. I learned how to make things sound better: how to make a kick drum sound sharper; how to pan sounds to give it a more spread-out, stereo effect; how to put reverberation on the vocals, to enhance their voice. Why do you think so many people love to sing in the shower? Good old acoustics.

Anyways, learning all those things changed the way I listened to music.

For every song I listened to, I couldn't help but notice the "gated" effect of the drums, or the duplication of vocals, amongst other production techniques. I couldn't figure out whether this new found, heightened awareness enhanced or detracted from my enjoyment of music. It doesn't matter now; that era of my life was so long ago, I hardly notice these things anymore. I've just about returned to the world of the average listener.

The reason I mention all this, is that it appears I'm going through the same thing with reading fiction.

I’ve been reading voraciously since I completed NaNoWriMo. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve spent more time reading than writing this last fortnight. Reading and analysing. I'm happy with this; I’m confident that reading will make me a better writer. I don’t understand the mentality of writers who say they don’t read books; do you?

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to read a book the same way again. I’ve been picking up on all sorts of things: how other writers switch scenes (some do it in the same chapter, some use a chapter per POV), how other writers deal with certain situations without making it look too contrived, and how well they manage to build tension, to entice me as a reader.  It's a writing skill I'm very interested in honing!

I've always immensley enjoyed reading, but it's different now. Now, I find myself wondering how the author developed the story, and I have a new, deeper respect for writers because of it!

I have no intention of returning to the world of the regular reader. And I don’t feel it has hampered my enjoyment of fiction. Quite the reverse, in fact! 

This must be what it’s like for wine connoisseurs. They appreciate a decent wine once they’ve educated themselves a bit more.

That's all good and well, but we know a wine connoisseur can’t solely educate themselves by drinking lots of wine (although I’m sure they might try!), and in the same vein I know I can’t educate myself on writing, by only reading lots of books. I have to write, and plan and detail and organise. Then write some more.

My current draft feels more like a 50,028 word outline at this point. Yes, it’s got the backbone of my story in it, but I’m confident that I will rewrite every single word of it. I hope to make a start on that during the Xmas holidays (oh, sweet release).

In the meantime, I’ve been a major spreadsheet geek. I didn’t use any of my fancy NaNoWriMo spreadsheets during November, which taught me Lesson No. 1 in writing a novel: My lovingly prepared spreadsheets have no place in the first draft. I shall post about my wee spreadsheet in more detail next time, lest I waffle on just now.

I'd love to know your thoughts on the benefits of reading, as a writer. Do you have any specific (fiction) books that influence, or spur you on to write? I know there are millions of books on how to write fiction, but I'm starting to feel I'd get a better writing education by reading works of fiction I enjoy and figuring out what it is about those books that work for me!

On a separate note, I discovered last week that the practice of putting two spaces after a full stop was obsolete. I'm gutted! I keep having to correct my spacings after every sentence now. Why, goddamnit, why?


*huff*

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The Importance of Reading. In Writing.

It's not over till I say so, alright?

"Just keep swimming... just keep swimming..."
Dory, Finding Nemo.




Ah Disney.  You may have ruined my expectations of men forever, but you sure know how to motivate me.


Having completed my 50k target for NaNoWriMo (50,028 words, to be exact), I initially decided I was going to take a break from writing; just for a week or two.  I deserved it, after pushing myself to the kind of writing extremes I'd never reached before.


Thankfully, I've realised I have no desire to take a break.  I can't stop thinking about my story!


And that's all it is as the moment.  A story.  No chapters; no deliberate thematic structre, no real craft.  In this project, I gather I'm about 20% complete.


What I want to do now, is go through it all, write more scenes, delete the guff (which is a good chunk of the beginning, from what I can see!), make the characters as strong at the beginning as they were at the end (I knew they'd come to life), do some more research, and give the story some... fluidity.


This is my first attempt at writing a novel.  I've toyed with novel software and was left scarred when it disappeared from my computer one day (my fault, but still...).  So, it's all on one 84-page document, looking messier than my hair in the mornings. 


It's also saved on some external hard drives and memory sticks of course (Ahm no daft, me!!).


Once I've done all the above, then I'll take a break.  Even if I'm itching to get on with it.  I'm going to look at it like a good casserole, or marinade.  Sometimes it's better to leave it alone, to develop (sorry, my food-geekiness is starting to show). 


Obviously I can't neglect it for too long, or it will go off, but it's essential for me to stay away for a while.  Just not yet though.


For now, I shall just keep swimming.











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It's not over till I say so, alright?

The Story So Far...

Nearing the end of my first week of NaNoWriMo, I'm sitting at 9120 words.  By the end of the day, I should technically be at 10002 words.  I intend to spend a good chunk of my day writing, so I'm feeling comfortable with the pace I'm writing at.


I haven't been devoting too much time to writing this week, to be honest.  I thought I'd be rushing towards 10k on my first day, in the height of my delirious enthusiasm.  In reality, I got off to a somewhat awkward start.  I started writing scenes that were a) not part of my lovely outline and b) not in keeping with the natural order of how the story unfolded.  I naively assumed I'd start from Chapter 1 and go from there! *blush*


I've been guilty of doing that forbidden thing in NaNoWriMo: Going back and fixing bits.  Not full scale editing or anything, but there have been a few amendments here and there (ok I'll stop heh heh). I also found myself hitting that proverbial brick wall at times.  Not writers block, per se (I don't believe in that), but just... reaching a point where I'd lost concentration, gotten restless, and had to Step Away From The Laptop.  I know a change of scenery will always recharge my creative batteries.


I haven't used the spreadsheet I made a big fuss over before November 1st.  I've steered clear of social media, lest I get too sucked into the "race" aspect of it all.  Don't get me wrong, it looks like fun and I'm sure it would push me that bit further than my current mellow flow, but I'd run the risk of leaving myself too susceptible to procrastination via Twitter and blogs; I could spend hours on them!


I keep reminding myself that although NaNoWriMo is a global event, it's also a personal journey; one that I would like to complete!  In order to give myself the best chance at it, I need to refrain from distractions and focus on the story.  A story which, I'm delighted to say, I'm loving more and more with each word written.


So, I'll keep you updated on my progress, and wish everyone else doing NaNoWriMo the best of luck with your stories.  I can't wait to read about them all in December! :)

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The Story So Far...

Keeping It Simple

Well, here it is.

My first novel outline.  EVER.

It's just under 6000 words, split into "developments".  Not scenes, chapters, plots, or POVs.  Just... development thingys.  This is Novel Writing: Catherine Stylee. 

I did try to do the "Chapter 1 = This Happens" structure, but it was messing with the flow of my story.  I'm taking a leaf out of Stephen King's "On Writing" book and telling the story first.  I'll work on the craft later.

Years of novel-structure research has been cast into the fire, in favour of Lazette Gifford's advice in her booklet: NaNo for the New and The Insane - A Guide to Surviving NaNoWriMo:

"An easy outline is to list 30 points in your story which can be written in about 2,000 word clumps.  You only need 1,667 words per day to reach 50,000.  If you have 30 things and write one each day, you'll reach your goal. It's that simple."

So, my outline describes what happens, from start to finish, in very brief detail.  The different colours establish a new event, whether that be a change in perspective or new dilemma (but not restricted to such).  There are 34 "developments" in my outline.  My shoddy maths tells me that a 50k word target will boil that down to 1470 words per development. 

I'm confident that I can waffle on for more than 1470 words for each, so I might just get to that self-imposed 70k mark!  Fingers crossed...

I don't know if it will work; It's quite a haphazard approach for an organisational geek like me.  I've got no choice but to go with it, now that NaNoWriMo is 3 days (and 13 hours) away. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

How are you all getting on? x

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Keeping It Simple

Have I missed something?

Browsing the NaNoWriMo forums (it's not procrastinating, honest), I discovered the thread where everyone describes what they're planning to write about this year.  Excited, I trawled through the many entries, anticipating that harsh feeling of "Oh no!  Theirs sound amazing compared to mines".  All the posts sounded so confident; raring to go.  My inevitable unease ensued.

It's not self-torture.  It keeps me sharp.  It forces me to improve my own description of my story.  A story which, as of yet, has failed to maintain its direction.  That sounds pessimistic, but it's genuinely not.  It's only because some of my characters have decided to become infinitely more interesting than my original main character.  Surely not a bad thing, but requires a lot of restructuring.  I have to laugh at my earlier fears of starting too early.  I should have started my planning for this Novel months ago.

I'm glad I figured all this out now, instead of two weeks into November, I tell ye.

I noticed the plethora of fantasy/other world-esque stories being described.  At the time of browsing, that genre appeared to take up about 90% of the posts.  I've never really ventured that side of fiction before and, seeing how immensley popular it is, can't help but feel I'm missing something.  What I'm about to tell you next will shock and horrify you...

... I've never read a Harry Potter book.  Or The Lord of the Rings.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the idea of reading them.  They scare me, if I'm honest with you.  I see how obsessed people get with them, and I don't want to be consumed that way.

I've read enough articles and interviews with J.K. Rowling to understand that she is an exceptional writer.  And I like reading the work of exceptional writers.  I'd quite fancy being an exceptional writer myself one day, as I'm sure every writer does.  I can't imagine anyone with a passion for their work, thinking "I'd quite like to be a decidedly average writer one day."

Maybe if I'd read the books, I'd be amongst the crowd of fantasy writers.  Alas, my book will concern unexceptional human beings and the banalities of life. 

Life.  Hideously unfair life.  Beautiful, joyful life.  At times tragic beyond comprehension.  Other times euphoric and filled with a love powerful enough to offer solace against the frequent anguish and misery.

I'm quite alright with writing about that.  Real-life fiction.  How paradoxical.  I know I'm not alone though.  I just looked it up and it appears to be an established genre.

I've made a conscious decision to read the Harry Potter and The Lord of the Ring books, one day.  Not until I've finished this book, though, lest the fantasy suck me into its addictive grip and spurt me back out as a fantasy writer forevermore. 

In the meantime, I shall gleam the planning wisdom from J.K. Rowling and go with that.  I refer to the alleged Plot Spreadsheet I found for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". 

Anyone who knows how geeky I am will understand how breathless with excitement this diagram made me.  I printed it out in A3 and currently have it spread out on my dining room table. 

I'm sure if I'd read the book, I'd have a much better idea of how everything slots in together.  But thats the thing.  I don't need to have read the book to see where the arcs and subplots come into it.  I believe the art of planning a book transcends genre; it's universal.

From this, I want to understand how much activity there is in a book and set myself a precedent.  Not unlike the precedent I set myself when browsing the forums.  Some may scoff at this, and say "are you seriously trying to compare your efforts to that of J.K. Rowling?"

Why the hell not? 

So that will be my plans for this dreary Sunday.  How are you all getting on, NaNo-ers? 






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Have I missed something?

Who are you and what are you doing in my head?

This is what my novel is going to look like, I think.

The first draft is going to be crammed full of stereotypical nonsense.  My antagonist is going to be over-the-top evil; my protagonist is going to have a halo on her delicate, beautiful skull.  The "nice guy" is going to be meek to the point of nausea and all characters are at risk of whiplash from the hair tossing and theatrical gestures.

It's alright, though.  I accept it, for now.  I welcome it, to be honest.

My first draft has yet to begin (26 days to go eeeek!), and I'm already looking forward to the second draft.  That will be the point when I truly understand my characters.

A lot of writers I've come across like to know everything about their characters before they start, up to (and including) what their gran had for dinner last week.  And if that works for them, I'm envious.  I'm still trying to figure out what works for me, though I have a good idea what doesn't.

When I try to come up with proper names for my characters, or a book title, I feel utterly indifferent.  It's like a baby, I suppose.  I need to see what it looks like in the flesh before I can name it. 

For the time being, I have Harry the Husband, Wendy the Wife; I even have Rebecca the Replacement (teacher) and Jason the Janitor.  Highly original, I know.

What I'm more concerned with, right now, is how they treat themselves and others.  Their demeanour and attitudes.  How they deal with the situations I thrust upon them.  I've always believed that it's what people do (and don't do) that determine who they are.  For instance, someone might donate to charity every month and help old people cross the road, but they might also cheat on their partner or keep the contents of a lost purse. 

Labels don't define human beings.  We are complex creatures and I look forward to making my characters wonderfully intricate in my 2nd draft.  I anticipate the agony with relish.

In the meantime, my first draft will be a caricature of their life views.  Their opinions.  Their morals and beliefs.  Their place in society and how they measure themselves up against others.  This, to me, will direct their actions in the story, more than figuring out their pet's name or bra size.

Please don't misunderstand me.  I'm not detracting from anyone who creates or uses character profile sheets; not at all.  I will be using them myself, when I get on to the second draft.  Alan Ayckbourn can sum it up better than me, in the Open University podcast for creative writing.  He's talking about plays specifically, but it definitely strikes a chord with me:

"The first draft is very much an acquaintanceship with the characters, and ….often their dialogue, their speech patterns develop during that first draft, they don’t start that way."

I just adore his voice.  It's so delightfully theatrical!

I'm going to spend the rest of the evening reading.  I feel literally undernourished, and crave that blissful escapism that I so wish to create myself.

Any NaNo-ers care to share their tips with a newbie? How are your plans coming along? ◦

Who are you and what are you doing in my head?