Shove your rat race...

Apologies for the unannounced hiatus. To be honest, I was on the precipice of giving up blogging altogether.

As much as I enjoy blogging, I was starting to feel it could potentially overshadow my whole reason for blogging in the first place: Writing.

I have no plans to ever give up my writing dream, but I believe I’ll be putting that dream in jeopardy if I allow myself to succumb to the PR fiasco that has become the minimum requirement, apparently, for “building an author platform”.

It gives me the boak to see poorly written novels with countless 5 star reviews on Amazon. You can't help but wonder if they're borne of some kind of reciprocal obligation from other bloggers/book reviewers. I’d rather have one fair and honest review, over a thousand copy & pasted efforts from frazzled (but well-meaning, I’m sure) participants in this whole circus.

The appeal of being a writer was once about escaping the rat race. Now it hosts a rat race all of its own!

If “Author” was advertised in a recruitment website these days (humour me), I believe it’d probably state the following requirements:

·          Daily liaisons through social media

·          Relationship building with others in the industry

·          Networking and sourcing new clients (readers/other bloggers)

·          Attend writer’s conferences and workshops

·          Organise, manage and distribute press releases on blog tours

·          Promote your brand through blog hops and guest interviews

·          Host giveaways

·          Oh… and write a book.

Am I the only person who is pissed off with this priority list? I'd genuinely prefer to write for the love of it and remain unpublished, than adhere to the above expectations in that order.

I've been bitten once by this. Someone sent me lots of friendly emails, then asked me to post a guest blog for them (with no offer to read any of their stuff). Intimidated, I obliged and never heard from them again. If I ever do a blog tour, please don't accept my request unless you believe in me and/or my writing. I promise to do likewise from now on. 

Do you want to know what's prevented me throwing in the bloggy towel, though? Reading some lovely, honest writer’s blogs, such as Is Anyone There, Mothers of Brothers and First Draft Cafe. In fact, the majority of bloggers I interact with don't succumb to these daft priorities. And that makes me feel optimistic once more.

I’ve decided to move my goal posts once more (and I’ll go ahead and keep changing them till I figure out what works for me). I won’t be blogging every Friday anymore. I may post more frequently, or less. If you'd like to keep up with my erratic behaviour, please subscribe or join my lovely 59 followers via Google Friend Connect. 

It feels liberating to break away from these unfair expectations of new writers. “But the industry demands it” some might say? Well, the industry changes constantly. New boundaries are being made with each new technological advancement. With the ability to self-publish, writers aren’t dictated by traditional publishers anymore (quality of work is another issue altogether. Lets not go there today...).

Nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future, but I do know one thing: my books will still be there at the end of it all, so I’d better bloody well give them the love and attention they deserve, instead of rushing out three books a year whilst simultaneously trying to promote my previous three, etc. Fair play if you're into all that, but it's not my idea of a fulfilling life.

I’ll continue to participate in events like A-Z Blogging Challenge and NaNoWriMo, as I enjoy them and they’re fun. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how interactive we’re all pressured into being: writing is a personal, lone journey. So I’m going to do it my way and I continue to wish you all the best with your own journey. :)  

If you want to have a gab about writing, feel free to email me, or if you're in the Glasgow area I'd happily meet up for a coffee. We can despair over the lack of publishers knocking down doors to meet us, or have a good old jealous-bitch session about those more successful than us, whether they deserve it or not.

P.S. If you read my last post... I didn't win the Euromillions. Huff! I've also scrapped the "chapter a day" redrafting idea I had. It's coming along well at its own pace. :) x 

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Shove your rat race...

Wake Up Little Snoozy...

Is it appropriate to say Happy New Year, being the 14th January and all?


Nevertheless, I bid you a tremendous 2012.


It's been a while since my last post. I'd love to tell you I've been horrendously busy, writing my novel with ferocious voracity.


I haven't. My muse has had a terrible case of the Black Dog. If it had a chaise longue, it'd have been sprawled across it, damp cloth on the forehead, fainting occasionally.


The excitement from my NaNo days (which seem so long ago now) had all but disappeared. It abandoned me, leaving me with a 50k story that I had no idea how to progress.


Guiltily, I started writing other story ideas, and the creative buzz returned somewhat. But, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't care for failure. That's what The Caretaker was starting to look like, and it pained me.


Was I just procrastinating? Surely procrastination is what happens when you put off something you don't want to do? I want to finish the novel, goddamnit, what the F is going on?


I consoled myself, reading blogs from experienced authors, writing about how your first novel is never publishable anyway, and how people really don't find their true novel until they've written five or six of them. I even tried to write a couple of blog posts, about how The Caretaker wasn't The One for me. How shameful.


It still didn't change how I felt about The Caretaker.


I'm pleased to report, stubbornness has prevailed.


The smelling salts arrived in the form of this Creative Writing Masterclass video. Not to impugn videos, but that's how bad it was getting. I couldn't bring myself to write, so I was watching videos on writing. If Charles Dickens could have witnessed this spectacle, he'd have poked me in the eye with his feather-tipped pen.


This video ignited the epiphany within me. It made me realise which character I wanted to be my "hero". Something every writer probably has pegged from the first page, but I'd become so close to all the characters, I didn't want just one hero.


That doesn't make for a good story though, does it?


Here's my very first synopsis of The Caretaker, before I started writing it:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, his previously idyllic world collapses around him.
He seeks forgiveness from his devastated wife, Wendy, who agrees to give up her teaching job to take care of him. Can she bring herself to trust him again? Or does she succumb to the advances of the school's Caretaker; so desperate to be someone's first choice again?
The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Experience the turmoil of both sides of the coin, in this tragic tale about the fragility of trust.

Here's the synopsis of The Caretaker, written 30 days and 50k words later:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, the lives of those around him change forever.

His devastated wife, Wendy, agrees to stand by and take care of him. But she cannot forgive the betrayal and, when advances from the local school's Caretaker distracts her, Harry's well-being is severely at risk.

The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Not only did Tina lose her sister in the accident, she lost the love of her life, Mick, Harry's brother. Mick can't see any future with the sister of the girl who tore his brother's life apart. When she finds out she's pregnant with Mick's baby, she hides it from him, convinced he'll tell her to get rid of it. As the baby grows inside her, so does her obsession with Mick.

Helen is out for revenge, after losing her favourite daughter in the accident. Hell bent on
vengeance, she blames Wendy's inability to maintain a good marriage; her inability to keep her man from leading astray. When her other daughter, Tina, falls pregnant, it fits into her plan perfectly. A stout Catholic, she believes it is her religious duty to make everyone pay for their sins.

As you can see, the story is riddled with other stories. They do all tie in together, but there was something missing from it.


My hero, Harry.


Yes, he is a cheating scumbag. I have no more time for love rats than you do. But my aim is to make this book his journey. I aim to weave his tale throughout the rest of the chaos and hopefully come out on top.


Although... you never know... he might just be too despicable to save. There may be more bad karma coming his way...


You'll have to read the book to find out! :D

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Wake Up Little Snoozy...

The Story So Far...

Nearing the end of my first week of NaNoWriMo, I'm sitting at 9120 words.  By the end of the day, I should technically be at 10002 words.  I intend to spend a good chunk of my day writing, so I'm feeling comfortable with the pace I'm writing at.


I haven't been devoting too much time to writing this week, to be honest.  I thought I'd be rushing towards 10k on my first day, in the height of my delirious enthusiasm.  In reality, I got off to a somewhat awkward start.  I started writing scenes that were a) not part of my lovely outline and b) not in keeping with the natural order of how the story unfolded.  I naively assumed I'd start from Chapter 1 and go from there! *blush*


I've been guilty of doing that forbidden thing in NaNoWriMo: Going back and fixing bits.  Not full scale editing or anything, but there have been a few amendments here and there (ok I'll stop heh heh). I also found myself hitting that proverbial brick wall at times.  Not writers block, per se (I don't believe in that), but just... reaching a point where I'd lost concentration, gotten restless, and had to Step Away From The Laptop.  I know a change of scenery will always recharge my creative batteries.


I haven't used the spreadsheet I made a big fuss over before November 1st.  I've steered clear of social media, lest I get too sucked into the "race" aspect of it all.  Don't get me wrong, it looks like fun and I'm sure it would push me that bit further than my current mellow flow, but I'd run the risk of leaving myself too susceptible to procrastination via Twitter and blogs; I could spend hours on them!


I keep reminding myself that although NaNoWriMo is a global event, it's also a personal journey; one that I would like to complete!  In order to give myself the best chance at it, I need to refrain from distractions and focus on the story.  A story which, I'm delighted to say, I'm loving more and more with each word written.


So, I'll keep you updated on my progress, and wish everyone else doing NaNoWriMo the best of luck with your stories.  I can't wait to read about them all in December! :)

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The Story So Far...

Just when I thought I was out...

... they pulled me back in.
Al Pacino (although I prefer Silvio Dante's version)


I've fallen victim to an illness, no doubt suffered by many NaNoWriMo participants.
I'm suffering from the disease of misplaced perfectionism.


NaNoWriMo isn't about creating a breathtakingly wonderful debut novel.  I need to remind myself of this.  The purpose of my Nano experience is to simply complete a novel.


It will be good to practise the craft; establish the basic fundamentals of storytelling (a beginning, middle and end; a satisfactory opening and resolution etc).  I want to write fabulous novels, in time, and consider this as part of my training.


To say I've been prone to over-thinking recently would be a gross understatement.  I've been beating up my poor little story, trying to force a better premise out of it.  I've been torturing my characters, demanding they yield to my creative demands and confess their juicy secrets.  Tony Soprano is rummaging around my head with a vengeance.

As much as I love Tony (who doesn't adore the big, cuddly, cold-blooded killer?), he's not what I need right now.  I need Paulo Coelho.  I need his serene presence in my psyche, telling me it's going to be alright and helping me along my path to wonderment.  

I'm not religious.  Your God is My Paulo, though.  If Paulo were rummaging around my head, he'd tell me "when you find your path, you must not be afraid.  You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes".

He'd pat me on the shoulder and say "whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want.  No one can hit their target with their eyes closed".

And finally, he'd reassure me "there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure".

So, aside from re-reading The Alchemist, I will spend the weekend working on my plot/outline with fresh eyes and less pressure.

What would Tony say to that?

"Why don't you get the f**k out of here before I shove your quotation book up your fat f*****g a**."

Charming!

How are you all getting on with your NaNoWriMo's, people?

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Just when I thought I was out...