"You are what you believe yourself to be”

Today's P in my A to Z Blogging Challenge is dedicated to someone who, through the medium of fiction, has had quite a profound impact on my life. Paulo Coelho.

(Follow him on Twitter)

I've already gushed about this man before, in a previous post, but he deserves endless adulation for what he does; for who he is.


Around 6 years ago, a former colleague gave me a copy of The Alchemist, which I absorbed voraciously.


A lot of writers talk about their book being a "personal journey" for their characters. That's quite an understatement for this book! In The Alchemist, the main character, Santiago, is searching for his Personal Legend: his goal/achievement in life. Every page is filled with sage advice on how to search for your own Personal Legend. Here are some of those wonderful words:


“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” 


“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” 


“Every blessing ignored becomes a curse.”


“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” 

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 


“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” 


OK, I'll stop. I want to share them all with you though!


What writer wouldn't love this book? In fact, never mind writers: anyone with an ounce of ambition; of desire to fulfill a purpose in life and live well, should read this book. I would imagine this book to be especially wonderful for anyone who is perhaps at a crossroad in their lives, or feeling despondent about their current situation.


This book gives Perspective with a capital P. It's one of the few books I re-read frequently. The Alchemist is only one of his vast collection of amazing books (special mention to his collection of short stories "Like the Flowing River"), and I aim to own them all by the time my puff runs out.


While I'm at it, I would also recommend Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet and Richard Bach's Jonathan Livingston Seagull: A story. A mild warning, though: if you read them all with quick succession, you may quit your job and become a hippie. Consider yourself cautioned.


Today's P music video is for Promises, by Nero. High volume is mandatory.

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"You are what you believe yourself to be”

Wake Up Little Snoozy...

Is it appropriate to say Happy New Year, being the 14th January and all?


Nevertheless, I bid you a tremendous 2012.


It's been a while since my last post. I'd love to tell you I've been horrendously busy, writing my novel with ferocious voracity.


I haven't. My muse has had a terrible case of the Black Dog. If it had a chaise longue, it'd have been sprawled across it, damp cloth on the forehead, fainting occasionally.


The excitement from my NaNo days (which seem so long ago now) had all but disappeared. It abandoned me, leaving me with a 50k story that I had no idea how to progress.


Guiltily, I started writing other story ideas, and the creative buzz returned somewhat. But, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't care for failure. That's what The Caretaker was starting to look like, and it pained me.


Was I just procrastinating? Surely procrastination is what happens when you put off something you don't want to do? I want to finish the novel, goddamnit, what the F is going on?


I consoled myself, reading blogs from experienced authors, writing about how your first novel is never publishable anyway, and how people really don't find their true novel until they've written five or six of them. I even tried to write a couple of blog posts, about how The Caretaker wasn't The One for me. How shameful.


It still didn't change how I felt about The Caretaker.


I'm pleased to report, stubbornness has prevailed.


The smelling salts arrived in the form of this Creative Writing Masterclass video. Not to impugn videos, but that's how bad it was getting. I couldn't bring myself to write, so I was watching videos on writing. If Charles Dickens could have witnessed this spectacle, he'd have poked me in the eye with his feather-tipped pen.


This video ignited the epiphany within me. It made me realise which character I wanted to be my "hero". Something every writer probably has pegged from the first page, but I'd become so close to all the characters, I didn't want just one hero.


That doesn't make for a good story though, does it?


Here's my very first synopsis of The Caretaker, before I started writing it:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, his previously idyllic world collapses around him.
He seeks forgiveness from his devastated wife, Wendy, who agrees to give up her teaching job to take care of him. Can she bring herself to trust him again? Or does she succumb to the advances of the school's Caretaker; so desperate to be someone's first choice again?
The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Experience the turmoil of both sides of the coin, in this tragic tale about the fragility of trust.

Here's the synopsis of The Caretaker, written 30 days and 50k words later:

When a car crash leaves Harry crippled and his mistress dead, the lives of those around him change forever.

His devastated wife, Wendy, agrees to stand by and take care of him. But she cannot forgive the betrayal and, when advances from the local school's Caretaker distracts her, Harry's well-being is severely at risk.

The mistress haunts them both, in more ways than one.
Not only did Tina lose her sister in the accident, she lost the love of her life, Mick, Harry's brother. Mick can't see any future with the sister of the girl who tore his brother's life apart. When she finds out she's pregnant with Mick's baby, she hides it from him, convinced he'll tell her to get rid of it. As the baby grows inside her, so does her obsession with Mick.

Helen is out for revenge, after losing her favourite daughter in the accident. Hell bent on
vengeance, she blames Wendy's inability to maintain a good marriage; her inability to keep her man from leading astray. When her other daughter, Tina, falls pregnant, it fits into her plan perfectly. A stout Catholic, she believes it is her religious duty to make everyone pay for their sins.

As you can see, the story is riddled with other stories. They do all tie in together, but there was something missing from it.


My hero, Harry.


Yes, he is a cheating scumbag. I have no more time for love rats than you do. But my aim is to make this book his journey. I aim to weave his tale throughout the rest of the chaos and hopefully come out on top.


Although... you never know... he might just be too despicable to save. There may be more bad karma coming his way...


You'll have to read the book to find out! :D

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Wake Up Little Snoozy...

Just when I thought I was out...

... they pulled me back in.
Al Pacino (although I prefer Silvio Dante's version)


I've fallen victim to an illness, no doubt suffered by many NaNoWriMo participants.
I'm suffering from the disease of misplaced perfectionism.


NaNoWriMo isn't about creating a breathtakingly wonderful debut novel.  I need to remind myself of this.  The purpose of my Nano experience is to simply complete a novel.


It will be good to practise the craft; establish the basic fundamentals of storytelling (a beginning, middle and end; a satisfactory opening and resolution etc).  I want to write fabulous novels, in time, and consider this as part of my training.


To say I've been prone to over-thinking recently would be a gross understatement.  I've been beating up my poor little story, trying to force a better premise out of it.  I've been torturing my characters, demanding they yield to my creative demands and confess their juicy secrets.  Tony Soprano is rummaging around my head with a vengeance.

As much as I love Tony (who doesn't adore the big, cuddly, cold-blooded killer?), he's not what I need right now.  I need Paulo Coelho.  I need his serene presence in my psyche, telling me it's going to be alright and helping me along my path to wonderment.  

I'm not religious.  Your God is My Paulo, though.  If Paulo were rummaging around my head, he'd tell me "when you find your path, you must not be afraid.  You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes".

He'd pat me on the shoulder and say "whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want.  No one can hit their target with their eyes closed".

And finally, he'd reassure me "there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure".

So, aside from re-reading The Alchemist, I will spend the weekend working on my plot/outline with fresh eyes and less pressure.

What would Tony say to that?

"Why don't you get the f**k out of here before I shove your quotation book up your fat f*****g a**."

Charming!

How are you all getting on with your NaNoWriMo's, people?

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Just when I thought I was out...