Quieting all the instant objections (what about your loved ones? Your work? Money?), I imagine I would have to make a new writing routine for myself. One that didn't involve research (Internet or otherwise), social networking, reading other people's work, or finding new writing excersizes to try out.
What would happen?
I suppose I'd probably get some actual writing done. Unspoiled writing; untainted, using only what's in my head and heart to fuel my words. That's how they did it in the olden days, didn't they? The works of Shakespeare and Charles Dickens weren't too shabby, were they?
But what would I write about?
Probably the same things I'm trying to write about right now; things I'm allowing outside factors to interfere with. I know what this is... I've so little confidence in my own words, I'm looking to others for direction and improvement. And, what's worse, I'm looking in places that make me feel even more inadequate!
At this moment in time, I don't need inspiration. I don't need new ideas. I just need to work with what I've got, inside.
“All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
― Ernest Hemingway
― Ernest Hemingway
I need to find out what my truest sentence is.
I have no inclination to abandon my current life for a life of complete solitude (as much as I jest about my desire to live a hermit lifestyle), I am, however, going to become a part-time hermit, mentally. I'm going to try "reclusive writer" on for size.
Like René Descartes, I'm going to discard all my prior beliefs, and just work with what remains in my heart. It might be shit, but it's my shit, goddammit!
Anyone who's read more than two of my posts might notice a pattern evolving here. One minute, I'm glorifying all the great writing resources available, the next I'm turning my back on them in defiance. Yes, I'm a bit mental. I hope to look back on this indecisiveness one day and say "ah... I'm so glad I've got my act together now." Fingers crossed.
There will come a time when I have to share my work with readers and critics, and when it does, I'll know every word of it was written earnestly, comprised 100% of true sentences.
Consider myself locked up in my writing room. Does anyone want to have the key? I may have to be forced into the room, every now and then!